#5 Write up – My last relationship (2012)

December always derives the best out of you. It is not just any other month. It is different! Not just in a singular way but by many if not all means.

 

The jackets, which cost you a little fortune come into play.

 

You have those starry nights to accompany you.

 

And you start getting the pure but rare satisfaction of optimising something! Your calendar!

 

I mean don’t you feel overly proud of yourself when you realise that you’ve had a yearlong relationship with the calendar?

 

The calendar! It keeps dangling on the wall all the time. Except the times you choose to take it off and flip it over. Probably just… 11 times every year? When you think of it that way, a year sounds so… quick! We keep thinking that it was just yesterday when we had an awesome New Years party till the time we realise that the next New Years party is, ‘Ow, tomorrow!’

 

We measure length in inches, mass in ounces, universe in lightyears and our life in calendars. Suppose I collect each and every day of my life that I’ve lived. Ummm… It will be a collection of say, 20 calendars. That’s all. All of my life summarised without even missing a day! I know on which day I had a holiday, when was the first lunar eclipse of my life, low tide, high tide and all sorts of pieces which when put together form my life. Voila! My biography is published!

 

Till now, I have stockpiled 20 calendars. How many more can I possibly accumulate? Forty calendars? Sixty calendars? Eighty, max? And then that’s all! It becomes all so scary you know. Like so fast! Like all of these ups and downs and twists and turns and someday, all that it turns out to be, is a bunch of calendars. All that I’ve earned, all that I have spent… Is This. Period.

 

Just imagine yourself. Old… So old that it is impossible for you to imagine anything older than you. And you are surrounded by all the calendars you’ve lived. And in your hand you have your last calendar. And you realise that the next New Years party is, “Ow, tomorrow!”

 

What will you do?

Where will you go?

If you know

That there is no tomorrow..?

 

We keep the calendar dangling on wall most of the time. Except the times we choose to take it off and flip it over. And the sad part is we just flip it over 11 times a year. We don’t consider just looking at the dates that have passed. We don’t take a pause to count the moments, which made us laugh, made us cry… Which made us sad, or dance with joy.

 

Some things are just not valued when we have time. We keep thinking that we’ll have another chance at them in future. But the future falls short for so many chances. You tell me, won’t you lay your head on your mother’s lap… Won’t you audition for that dance show in college… Won’t you order the dessert first? If you know that there is no tomorrow?

 

If we treat every relationship as if it were the last, we pour everything to make it work. So I’ve thought of not attending the Masquerade Party this year. It seems like I want to skip the main course and have what actually counts. The dessert.

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